The Auto Jokes and Quotes Thread

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Hey guys,

Thought it would be nice idea to have thread where we can share auto related quotes and jokes. Always good to have some humour

Let me start off this thread. Hope to see some funny contributions here

May your happiness increase like Petrol Price, May your sorrow fall like Indian Rupee, and May your joy fill your heart like corruption in India…!!!

Pleasure & Pain come at the same price: Rs.80/-for a Beer Bottle OR 1 Litre Petrol. Decision is yours…

Dear Father-in-Law, I deeply regret taking a Car in dowry. Please take your Daughter or Car back… I cannot afford both.

Finally it may happen…Beer cheaper than petrol !!! There will be new slogan: JUST DRINK; DON’T DRIVE !!!

Man at Petrol Pump: Full tank कर दो... Attendant: Sir, PAN Card की copy दो... Man: What? Why? How?

Attendant: Sir, it’s a HIGH VALUE TRANSACTION !!

Harbhajan to Dhoni: हम तो जानबूझ के मैच हारे है... पता है कीजीतनेवाली टीम को Volkswaeon मिलने वाली है, औरवो petrol की है...!!!

Amitabh Bachchan has decided to take all his payments in Dollars… Because………. वो आज भी गिरे हुए पैसे नहीं उठाता...!!!

Dharmendra’s new dialogue: कुत्ते... कमीने... तेरी गड्डी का पेट्रोल पी जाऊंगा...

Beti: Mom, He is JUST A FRIEND! Mom: हमने दुनिया देखि है, बेटी... 2 लीटर पेट्रोल जलाके घरआने वाला कभी JUST FRIEND नहीं होता...

Petrol Pump Attendant: कितने का डालूँ? Grahak: 50 ML गाडी पे स्प्रे कर दे भाई, आग लगानी है...

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Another one:

Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ...

So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"

He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bad tires!

So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!

This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ...

But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ... :D

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I was driving with my friend. We come to a red light and he speeds up and whips right through it. I start freaking out "Hey man, your going to get us killed!" He replies "Relax, my brother drives like this." We come to another red light and he blazes right through. "You're going to get arrested or get us killed!" "Relax this is how my brother drives." We come to a green light he stops dead looking both ways. "Dude, it's green you can go." "Nah man, my brother might be coming the other way." :lol:

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